Delhi-based Atul Kumar has been one proud father. As an IIT alumnus and JEE mentor, he was beyond thrilled when his elder child also got admitted to the prestigious college. All of a sudden, his son started being disinterested in college, studies, friends and everything else that made up his world.
Midway through college, the then-21 year old, told his parents he didn't feel comfortable in the body he was born into. He told them he wanted to transition into a woman. This had made the kid worry so much over the past few years, and moreso over the past few days. He was worried about the reaction of his family and friends. All this was taking a toll on his mental health which had not gone unnoticed by the parents.
At this time, Atul Kumar knew exactly what to do. He first assured his kid that he would keep loving and supporting them irrespective of the gender they wanted to associate with or the way they looked. Same went for the other family members. In fact, Atul's younger daughter was very happy to know that she would soon have a sister, like she had always wished.
This gave Versha, now 24, just the confidence boost that was required. After that discussion with her father, she has never had to worry about being accepted. They all together helped Versha steer towards her ambitions throughout the transition period.
Luckily, not much effort was required to sensitise her college friends or the family's acquaintances. Atul says they have all been kind and respectful towards Versha's needs. "As for us, the question was never about acceptance. I believe that parents have no business accepting their children; their acceptance is ensured the moment the child is born and brought into the family," he says.
He adds that he just focused on providing unconditional love and support to his child during a physically and emotionally draining time. He was, however, concerned about bullying in college and non-acceptance at the workplace. Fortunately, all his fears proved unfounded.
Today, Versha is in the middle of her transition. She has secured a great job in a multinational company, and is doing very well in terms of physical, mental and emotional health. She plans on informing her company and colleagues about the transition soon.
Atul acknowledges that his daughter's coming out story is kind of unremarkable, when compared to the experiences of other queer kids. And, this unremarkable nature of this experience with the family going about life with an added dimension in a very matter-of-fact manner, he says, should be the goal we have. He wishes to see a day when no queer child has to sweat over coming out, acceptance and discrimination.
A team of Likho writers works daily to bring to you queer stories from the Indian subcontinent that matter! For enquiries, send us a mail on editor.likho@gmail.com
